Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
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Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
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Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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