Kiss
Puke
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize