absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
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