i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
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he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
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Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
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