I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
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I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
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