You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
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I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
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I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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