the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
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