Your mouth is God's brothel.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
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