Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
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