is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
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her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
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