Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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