Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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