just come out here and I will go home with you...
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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