Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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