it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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