The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
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