For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Randomize