I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
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