ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize