tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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