if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
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