It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize