I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize