GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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