So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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