I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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