So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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