I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize