Already got asked if we're dating
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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