Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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