Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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