you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize