atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
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