Sponge bath it is.
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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