Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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