you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
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