there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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