Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize