Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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