how can u be prego again
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize