I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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