But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize