did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize