Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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