Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
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Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
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I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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