I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
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