Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Randomize