a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Randomize