Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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