Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
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